As we see a “changing of the guard” in nonprofit leadership, developing meaningful relationships with colleagues is important once again. Last week I worked with a regional group of executive directors that has a mix of long term and new leaders. Like the attached article indicates, new leaders are expecting support and exchange of information to be forthcoming without any investment of time and relationship. However, long-term leaders are looking for reciprocity – a give and take. They are reluctant to share what they worked years to get right with people they hardly know. Furthermore, they know important learning happens through the development of material, policy and procedure. Therefore, these long-term leaders would rather mentor new leaders through the process than hand over work already done.
This Forbes article identifies five ways to identify when reciprocity is missing and you need to refocus if the relationship is to be sustained:
1. Don’t make excuses, just get it done.
Ongoing excuses for not doing the work will have a negative impact on the relationship. As Nike says Just Do It!
2. Who is responsible?
Have you ever been in a business relationship where there is excitement to begin with and then it wanes due to a loss of interest? I have. Through the course of my consulting career, I have worked with others on “projects” – basically an attempt to be collaborative and build on our individual strengths. In one instance we even purchased really nice portfolios and had a logo and theme for the training we would do. We pooled our resources and material and developed a five-day leadership training course. We did it exactly . . . once. The organization found it really great, so what happened? We each had our own business which took priority, so neither one of us assumed responsibility for “getting the program out there”. In the end, we parted ways. So, plan for the next step and who is responsible for getting it done.
3. Unequal resources and ability to contribute.
This exists when the organizations and/or individuals have different levels of capacity to contribute. For example, one organization is larger and has more resources or the leader is more skilled and competent in the job.
4. Collaboration requires give and take.
Organizations are expected to collaborate, but it’s much harder than you think. There must be a willingness to work for the benefit of both interests. This means letting go of your own agenda and how the work gets done to building a direction and process that is beneficial to everyone involved.
5. Appreciate your partners
It’s easy to lose site of the work being done by others especially when you’re busy. At these times, one side may feel like they are being taken for granted and begin distancing themselves from the relationship.
So remember it’s hard work building and maintaining relationships. Think carefully about your ability to give it what it needs to succeed because the alternative is not good.